A CHANGE IS GONNA DO YOU GOOD- What I Learned When I Finally Stopped Avoiding Myself

I once worked for a Rent To Own Company and worked my up to GM, I mentioned in another blog, I used to be funny and very quick witted. But that sometimes doesn't translate when mixed with sarcasm. So how did I get here, you know the place where I needed to evaluate myself? As I was climbing the corporate ladder in this company, the stress was un bearable at times. I could feel my happy go lucky carefree self change to a stressed middle manager, trying to drink the Kool-Aid, yet not really believing in their philosophy. One cool morning, my boss calls me and lets just say it wasn't pleasant, and on top of that my location was extremely busy that morning. The stress got the better of me and what I thought was playful someone else took as rude. I had to re-evaluate what was acceptable. So that is when I began researching how to become better for those around me.

Trying to be a better version of yourself doesn’t mean you have to suddenly have your whole life figured out. Honestly, nobody does. It’s more about improving, learning about who you are, and taking small steps that actually make your life feel better. To make those around you feel seen and heard.

As I calmly spoke to myself...I thought well, a good place to start is just getting to know yourself. The real you—the one who has strengths, flaws, good days, bad days, and everything in between. Pay attention to what makes you happy, what stresses you out, and what habits help you or hurt you. Sometimes even writing things down or just thinking things through quietly can help you understand yourself more clearly.

And when you have a goal, don’t pressure yourself to do everything all at once. Big goals can feel scary, for anyone at any age. It’s so much easier to break them into tiny steps you can actually do. If you want to be healthier, happier, more confident—whatever it is—start small. Little steps add up way faster than you think.

Building routines can help too. Not every second of your life needs to be planned, but having a few things you do every day—like reading a little, stretching, listening to music, or taking a walk—can make your mind feel calmer and more in control. Consistency is kind of like a secret superpower.

I can not stress this enough, you have to keep learning as you go. This can be books, videos, podcasts, talking to people, or just paying attention. The more you learn about life and the world, the more you grow without even realizing it.

Please walk away from that comfort zone that is most likely keeping you stuck. Stepping out is a scary proposition, but it’s also where some of the best parts of life show up. Trying new things, meeting new people, or doing something that challenges you can help you discover strengths you didn’t even know you had.

Healthy habits will matter more than they seem. Getting enough sleep, taking breaks from your phone, drinking water, or talking kindly to yourself can make a huge difference. On the flip side, letting go of habits that drain your energy—like comparing yourself constantly or doubting yourself all the time—can feel like a breath of fresh air.

I am involved in a pageant and I have been working with girls and women on self-esteem and self confidence for over 27 years. A lot of poor self esteem comes from those around us, family, friends, business people and more. For them their is sense of protecting you and they allow their own fears to stop you. It created unnecessary noise that plays over and over and over. Its the reason you question yourself. You need to do the scary things they wouldn't to break past cycles. Now, Im not saying jump of a 50 foot cliff into a creek. I'm saying take a risk try out for something, get into a new club, volunteer and begin interacting with all types of people.

Spend more time with people who bring out the best in you. People who support your goals, encourage your dreams, and make you feel good about yourself. Being around negativity or drama all the time can make growth feel impossible.

Please keep this tucked in the back of your mind, messing up is totally normal. You’re going to fail sometimes or feel stuck. It doesn’t mean you’re doing life wrong. It just means you’re learning. Every mistake teaches you something if you’re willing to look at it that way.

Other's might say I'm trying to keep you from making the same mistakes I made and to that I say, it's my road and as scary as it might be you have to let me go find my own place.

Most importantly, be kind—to others, yes, but also to yourself. Growth is uncomfortable sometimes, and you deserve patience while you’re figuring things out. Celebrate your progress—even if it’s tiny. Be proud of yourself for trying.

Becoming a better version of yourself isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a journey that you build day by day with small choices and a hopeful mindset. Keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the person you’re becoming. Your future self will look back and be glad you didn’t give up.

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